What NOT to Do with an Autistic Child: Understanding Their Developmental Journey

Parenting an autistic child can be both rewarding and challenging. Since Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how individuals communicate, interact, and perceive the world around them, Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) is an evidence-based therapy often recommended for helping children with autism regulate their behavior and enjoy better quality living. While ABA can be highly beneficial, it's crucial to understand what not to do with an autistic child during ABA therapy. In this article, we'll explore some common pitfalls and offer guidance on positive ABA practices to support your child's development.

Avoid Ignoring Their Individuality

Every autistic child has their own unique set of strengths, challenges, and interests. It's vital to recognize and appreciate this individuality. One common mistake is assuming that what works for one child with autism will work for another. Instead, take the time to get to know your child on a personal level. Observe their preferences, interests, and sensory sensitivities. This information will be invaluable in tailoring ABA therapy to their specific needs and creating a supportive environment.

Don't Overwhelm with Demands

Autistic children may have difficulties with processing multiple instructions or handling a high number of demands at once. To avoid overwhelming them, break tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Provide clear, concise instructions, and allow your child ample time to process information. Using visual supports, like visual schedules or social stories, can also be helpful in breaking down tasks and promoting understanding.

Suppose your child needs to get ready for school in the morning. Instead of saying, "Get dressed, brush your teeth, eat breakfast, and put on your shoes," which might overwhelm them, break it down step by step:

"First, let's put on your favorite dinosaur shirt."

"Now, it's time to brush your teeth. Grab your toothbrush and toothpaste."

"Great job! Now, you can sit down and enjoy your favorite cereal."

"Finally, we'll put on your shoes, starting with the left one."

By breaking the routine into manageable steps, you make it easier for your child to understand and follow through.

Avoid Using Punishments

Traditional ABA approaches sometimes employed punitive measures to modify behavior, but contemporary ABA prioritizes positive reinforcement. Punishments can be counterproductive for autistic children, leading to anxiety and resistance. Instead of punishments, focus on identifying and using positive reinforcement strategies. Reward your child for displaying desired behaviors, which can motivate them to continue those behaviors.

Imagine your child is working on improving their communication skills. Instead of punishing them for not using words when frustrated, use positive reinforcement. 

For example:

When your child attempts to communicate, even non-verbally, reward them with praise, a small treat, or access to a preferred activity.

If they do have a meltdown, focus on calming strategies instead of punishment. Offer a sensory break or engage in a calming activity like deep pressure massage.

By rewarding positive communication attempts and providing support during challenging moments, you encourage your child to communicate more effectively.

Do Not Neglect Their Sensory Needs

Many autistic children have sensory sensitivities that can significantly impact their comfort and engagement. Ignoring or disregarding these sensitivities can lead to distress or meltdowns. Be attuned to your child's sensory preferences and aversions. Create a sensory-friendly environment during ABA sessions by adjusting lighting, noise levels, and sensory tools to accommodate their needs. Consider using sensory breaks when necessary to help your child self-regulate.

Suppose your child is hypersensitive to loud noises and bright lights.

You can:

Use dimmer lighting or natural light instead of harsh fluorescent lights.

Offer noise-canceling headphones or a quiet corner for breaks.

Provide sensory tools like a weighted blanket or fidget toys to help them self-regulate.

By addressing sensory needs, you create a more comfortable and accommodating setting for your child to learn and engage.

Don't Rush Progress

Progress in ABA therapy can be gradual and non-linear. Setting unrealistic expectations for rapid progress can lead to frustration and disappointment for both you and your child. It's important to embrace patience and celebrate small victories along the way. Recognize that development and growth take time, and focus on the long-term goals rather than expecting immediate results.

Your child may be working on improving social interactions. Suppose they struggle with making eye contact. Instead of pushing for immediate change, celebrate small steps:

If they make brief eye contact during a conversation, acknowledge it with positive reinforcement, like saying, "Great job looking at me!"

Gradually increase the duration of eye contact as they become more comfortable.

By celebrating incremental progress, you create a positive and motivating environment for your child.

Avoid Inconsistency

Consistency is key to success in ABA therapy. Inconsistencies in routines, expectations, or rewards can confuse your child and hinder their progress. Collaborate closely with your ABA therapist to ensure that everyone involved maintains a consistent approach. Communication and coordination among caregivers, teachers, and therapists are crucial for providing a stable and predictable environment for your child.

Do Not Disregard Communication Methods

Communication challenges are common among autistic children. Some may have limited verbal speech or prefer alternative communication methods. It's essential not to dismiss or discourage these non-verbal forms of communication. Encourage and support all means of expression, including gestures, picture exchange systems, communication devices, and sign language. By acknowledging and validating your child's unique communication style, you can help them express themselves effectively. 

If your child is non-verbal or has limited speech, support their communication needs:

• Encourage them to use a picture exchange system or communication device to express their desires.
• Learn some basic sign language to facilitate communication.

By respecting and facilitating their preferred communication methods, you empower your child to express themselves effectively.

By understanding and implementing these nuanced considerations, you can create a more effective and supportive environment for your autistic child. Remember that each child is an individual with their own needs and strengths, and by tailoring your approach to accommodate their unique profile, you can maximize the benefits of ABA therapy and promote their overall well-being and development.